Censoring Myself

I haven't blogged in awhile. It isn't that I haven't had ideas, I've had tons! Even though my time is limited, it isn't that I haven't had time either. It just seems that every time I think of something good to write about, I stop and second guess myself.

Sometimes I try to organize my pre-blogging thoughts when I have a few minutes alone, such as in the shower or on the way to work. I start to flesh out what I want to say and how I want to say it and suddenly I find myself wondering if I say this...how will that sound to this person or that person? Will it be misconstrued? Will someone disagree with me so strongly that we'll no longer be friends? Will I find myself in the principals office? Literally? Could I get kicked out of church for using swear words? Is it way too gross to keep talking about my digestive system?

I've become a co-dependent blogger.

Freedom of speech is an American right. For now anyway. I know I CAN say whatever I want. But should I? Even if this is just a blog, I want what I say to reflect my values and beliefs. Is it right for this to be a place to vent? Yes. And no. What if my kids read this years from now? What if my MOTHER reads this?

I think the real problem here is that I've never worried too much about speaking my peace. So I guess at this point I'm just wondering...Am I growing up? Or am I just drinking the kool aid?

New Year's Revolution

I don't do New Year's resolutions. There's far too much guilt associated with procrastination and ultimately with failure. I do acknowledge that it is important to continually improve one's self and that I am not perfect. So I just prefer to go about this in a different way. And, good things often take more than a year to achieve. Therefore, without further adieu, here's what I plan to get started on this year:

1. Spend less time on Facebook. I know, less is subjective. It seems to me though, that I could concentrate more on my television watching if I was not on the computer. Haha, just kidding. I think it's wonderful to catch up with old and new friends and I really do enjoy Facebook. The other day I heard a study that suggested if you spend over an hour per day on Facebook, you may be addicted. I don't want to be addicted to anything.

2. Prepare more meals at home versus picking up take-out. This is for obvious reasons. Heating up frozen stuff counts as a meal prepared at home.

3. Spend more time PLAYING with my children. The day is coming all too soon when I will rate second to friends, media, and strange fads that I won't understand.

4. Find a new job. This one may be the exception to the no-time-limit rule. I need a new job this year. I spend far too much time driving to and from work and quite frankly, public education is sucking the life out of me.

5. Go out with my husband at least once a month. I think we've been doing pretty well on this one but there's always room for improvement.

6. Work on my children's baby books. I'm not sure why I put that off.

7. Grow more roses. Stop and smell them. :)