Today at lunch a waiter accidentally spilled a diet coke all over me. And I mean ALL over me. I was soaked. Actually, I think the whole thing happened in slow motion, which probably allowed more time for more diet coke to reach me and soak me even more.
Fortunately, I kept it together and dried off a bit. The poor waiter was mortified and struggled through waiting on us for the rest of our meal. Like any decent person would, I told him that accidents happen and not to worry about it.
The manager of the restaurant came over several times to make sure that I was not too disgruntled. I left with no bill and a $15 gift card. He also offered to reimburse me for dry cleaning. I told him that my shirt was from Target and I thought it would do just fine in my washer, but thanked him just the same.
First of all, that was excellent customer service. If you ever eat at PF Chang's at Southpoint in Durham, NC, you should ask for Jason and tell him the girl who had diet coke spilled all over her on August 18, 2011 sent you. Tell him you read about him in my blog. I think that would be a really nice touch.
Secondly, I learned something today. If you love your job, you will go to a staff meeting directly after lunch covered in diet coke and totally be ok with it. I, as it seems, love my job.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
So, Who ARE You People?
Today I discovered the "stats" page here on blogger.com. Holy tomatoes! It seems that on the day that I post a blog, I receive an average of about 85 page views. Better still...over the life of my blog I have had well over 1500 visits! What in the WORLD?? I had no idea! And speaking of world...while the vast majority of my page views originate from the United States, I actually have had hits from far and wide...Japan, Great Britain, even Australia, mates!
So, who ARE you people?
Seriously, I want to know! Who is reading my blog? What do you like about it? What do you hate? What would you like to see me write about? Because, as you might imagine, even if I don't have much insight on a topic, I guarantee you that I at least have an opinion about it!
To all of my regulars...you guys are fantastic and I have really appreciated your love and support of this strange little project via your feedback on facebook. But as for the rest of you...HEY! Thanks for reading this! (I have readers!) I'd love to hear what you're thinking. You can also click "join this site" up in the top righthand corner of the page to start "following" my blog. That way you'll be notified via email whenever I post something new.
Oh, my goodness...this just may get even more interesting! Seth Godin says, "If you want to be a writer, write!" So...ok, I think I will!
So, who ARE you people?
Seriously, I want to know! Who is reading my blog? What do you like about it? What do you hate? What would you like to see me write about? Because, as you might imagine, even if I don't have much insight on a topic, I guarantee you that I at least have an opinion about it!
To all of my regulars...you guys are fantastic and I have really appreciated your love and support of this strange little project via your feedback on facebook. But as for the rest of you...HEY! Thanks for reading this! (I have readers!) I'd love to hear what you're thinking. You can also click "join this site" up in the top righthand corner of the page to start "following" my blog. That way you'll be notified via email whenever I post something new.
Oh, my goodness...this just may get even more interesting! Seth Godin says, "If you want to be a writer, write!" So...ok, I think I will!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Dolce far Niente
Over the last several months I've been mentally planning for a blog entitled something like: Why I Left Public Education. I had intended it to be a very credible and well-stated SLAM of the public education system. I would systematically expose how education has evolved for the worse over the last fifteen years - how much is expected of teachers and how the amount of documentation required leaves teachers no time to teach. I would wow you with my sugestions on how we might begin to improve "the system" so that it no longer sucked the soul out of teachers.
Until I realized last week that I was wrong. WRONG.
I know in my heart that of all the initiatives that filter down to the classroom are intended to be good for children. Really, even though teachers are being worked to death to support the diverse needs of an increasingly diverse population of children, working hard is necessary and the right thing to do. BUT! There is still ONE THING that the public school system is doing wrong consistently. The majority of public school leaders are not honoring nor are they supporting a DAY OF REST.
So many teachers find themselves working all weekend to complete what's been asked of them. Many, many teachers work for hours upon hours over the weekend. I found myself at a point last year that I would work for about eight hours on Saturday or Sunday. (This was in addition to the two or three hours I worked each weeknight after coming home and spending time with my family.) My anxiety on Sunday was so severe! What if I didn't get it all done? Sometimes I didn't. I would be such a wreck on Monday mornings!
Awhile back I started to notice a pattern on my facebook news feed. Sunday is the facebook day for "I don't want to go back to work" posts. What career has the most of those posts in general? You guessed it...teaching! Who wants to go back to work on Monday when you've been working all weekend? How can you be refreshed and inspired when you've been using up all of your creative energy with eight hours of planning on your time off? The human soul was never intended to work nonstop. We need time for our souls to catch up to our bodies! (Pastor Benji Kelley 2011)
One of my teacher friends stated it best a few years ago when she said, "Yes, I do understand all of my teaching responsibilities clearly. However, I also understand that completing everything that I have been asked to do in a timely fashion is impossible." She was so right! What I'm realizing is that I personally did not say no often enough. I was asked to lead this committee and mentor this younger teacher and spend time with this family who needs someone to model how to work with their children at home. It's all for the greater good!
But what about my greater good? What about my family? I matter! We matter!
You should be able to go to your supervisor and say, "I have taken on too much. I am concerned that if I do not take at least one day (maybe even two!) per week to rest, that I will not be able to do this job effectively anymore." That supervisor should listen. If you're not getting this type of support from your current employer, find another one who will. They are out there. I promise. I know because I found one.
Most of us are familiar with the concept that Europeans are far more laid back than we Americans are in this aspect. In fact, the Italians have a phrase "dolce far niente" which translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing." They believe that running yourself ragged as many of us tend to do is just plain ridiculous. And they are just plain right. While doing nothing is perhaps not always literal, it may mean lounging at the pool or playing checkers with your kids, it does mean taking a break from the working world. Folks, it's crucial. It's vital. It will save your life. I know because it's saving mine.
This week Seth Godin published a blog on wasting time. You should totally check it out because he is awesome: Wasting Time is Not a Waste. You may even want to subscribe to his blog or like him on facebook.
And if you wanna hang with God while you're wasting time, I highly recommend that you check out this sermon by my seriously awesome pastor, Dr. Benji Kelley. It will show you step by step how to actually accomplish this: Soul Sabbath.
Although I can tell you, if you choose to hang with God during your free time, it will be anything but a waste!
My love and prayers go out to all of my public school teacher friends reading this blog as you go back to school this week. You are making a difference! Just please, please, be sure to take care of your soul! YOU MATTER!
Until I realized last week that I was wrong. WRONG.
I know in my heart that of all the initiatives that filter down to the classroom are intended to be good for children. Really, even though teachers are being worked to death to support the diverse needs of an increasingly diverse population of children, working hard is necessary and the right thing to do. BUT! There is still ONE THING that the public school system is doing wrong consistently. The majority of public school leaders are not honoring nor are they supporting a DAY OF REST.
So many teachers find themselves working all weekend to complete what's been asked of them. Many, many teachers work for hours upon hours over the weekend. I found myself at a point last year that I would work for about eight hours on Saturday or Sunday. (This was in addition to the two or three hours I worked each weeknight after coming home and spending time with my family.) My anxiety on Sunday was so severe! What if I didn't get it all done? Sometimes I didn't. I would be such a wreck on Monday mornings!
Awhile back I started to notice a pattern on my facebook news feed. Sunday is the facebook day for "I don't want to go back to work" posts. What career has the most of those posts in general? You guessed it...teaching! Who wants to go back to work on Monday when you've been working all weekend? How can you be refreshed and inspired when you've been using up all of your creative energy with eight hours of planning on your time off? The human soul was never intended to work nonstop. We need time for our souls to catch up to our bodies! (Pastor Benji Kelley 2011)
One of my teacher friends stated it best a few years ago when she said, "Yes, I do understand all of my teaching responsibilities clearly. However, I also understand that completing everything that I have been asked to do in a timely fashion is impossible." She was so right! What I'm realizing is that I personally did not say no often enough. I was asked to lead this committee and mentor this younger teacher and spend time with this family who needs someone to model how to work with their children at home. It's all for the greater good!
But what about my greater good? What about my family? I matter! We matter!
You should be able to go to your supervisor and say, "I have taken on too much. I am concerned that if I do not take at least one day (maybe even two!) per week to rest, that I will not be able to do this job effectively anymore." That supervisor should listen. If you're not getting this type of support from your current employer, find another one who will. They are out there. I promise. I know because I found one.
Most of us are familiar with the concept that Europeans are far more laid back than we Americans are in this aspect. In fact, the Italians have a phrase "dolce far niente" which translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing." They believe that running yourself ragged as many of us tend to do is just plain ridiculous. And they are just plain right. While doing nothing is perhaps not always literal, it may mean lounging at the pool or playing checkers with your kids, it does mean taking a break from the working world. Folks, it's crucial. It's vital. It will save your life. I know because it's saving mine.
This week Seth Godin published a blog on wasting time. You should totally check it out because he is awesome: Wasting Time is Not a Waste. You may even want to subscribe to his blog or like him on facebook.
And if you wanna hang with God while you're wasting time, I highly recommend that you check out this sermon by my seriously awesome pastor, Dr. Benji Kelley. It will show you step by step how to actually accomplish this: Soul Sabbath.
Although I can tell you, if you choose to hang with God during your free time, it will be anything but a waste!
My love and prayers go out to all of my public school teacher friends reading this blog as you go back to school this week. You are making a difference! Just please, please, be sure to take care of your soul! YOU MATTER!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Denyse's Wager
In January of 2001 I took a break from teaching to work in furniture sales. Acutally, I should say that I took a break from teaching and ended up in furniture sales. I had become a bit disenchanted with public education, which is more than ironic that I'm thinking about this right now after finally escaping the strangling grasp of the state of North Carolina. Ok, that's a bit dramatic. But, as usual, I digress.
I left teaching because I was not happy. It was more than just being unhappy with my job - it really all stemmed from me not being happy with ME. My mom called it a "quarter life crisis" since a book with the same name came out that same year. I'm pretty sure she saw it on Oprah or something. I think she was just happy to put a label on what was wrong with her oldest child! You can read more about a quarter life crisis here: http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/. I never read the book so I can't recommend it, but the concept makes sense. A twenty-something person gets out into the real world for a few years and then questions his/her career decision, relationships, lack of purpose, etc. I was definitely doing all of the above.
My biggest issue, though, was that I was questioning the existence of God. I had become a Christian at the age of nine. "How could a child so young truly make that sort of decision," I wondered. "How do I believe in something I can't see?" Even though I used to think I at least felt something, some sort of Godly presence, I wasn't feeling it anymore.
Until...
While working in the furniture store, I met a sixty-something African-American gentleman who basically served as a custodian. He cleaned and moved large furniture items and repaired things. I'm sure he did other things as well but I was far too invloved in myself and my own problems to learn more about him.
Whenever we ended up in the break room together it made me uncomfortable yet at the same time I wanted to hear what he had to say. He talked to me more than to the other sales people, or at least it seemed that he did. I think he said he had been a professor. Or was it a minister? I'm not even sure anymore, but he always called me "Teacher."
"Ok, Teacher, today is the 14th and it's falling on a Tuesday. Mathematically, can that happen again in the same year?" Well, I had no idea, of course. Math is not my thing (understatement). But I would listen politely while he explained why it was or was not possible.
"Teacher, what do you do if a child in your class steals something?" I would give some sort of developmentally-appropriate-approved-by-the-state-of-Virginia type answer and then wait for his reply. "But is that really getting to the root of the problem, Teacher? Isn't that just a bandaid?"
He kind of blew my mind.
Then, one day we started to talk about God. This kindly former professor or minister or something introduced me to a theory called Pascal's Wager. (Yes, this was the same Pascal you learned about in math class in high school.) The theory deals with your choice in whether or not to believe in God, specifically the God of Christian faith. Pascal said that if you choose to believe and you are right, you will be rewarded with heaven, and thus have gained. If you choose to believe and it turns out there is no God and no heaven, you have still lived your life so the loss is infinitisimal. Or, in other words:
You can read more in depth about Pascal's Wager as well as more about his many contributions to religious theology, literature, math, and several other areas here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_Wager. Pascal was a pretty versitile dude.
So for awhile I kind of clung to this. It was better to believe that there was some bigger, better being looking out for me on a daily basis. And if I thought hard about bible teachings, I sometimes remembered this bigger, better, omnipotent and omnipresent being knew the number of hairs on my head. This was exactly what I needed - some sort of rational thinking to satisfy my analytical mind. (I said analytical - not mathematical.) It was better to believe and be wrong than to not believe and be wrong. So I'd choose to continue to believe...just in case.
Ten years later, my feelings about God and how I know He is real couldn't be any more different. But that's another blog. I'm just so thankful for that man who cleaned that furniture store. I wish I could remember his name. I wish I could thank him. I wonder if he has any idea that he helped me through such a dark period of my life? Or, maybe he does. An unlikely friendship between a chubby, 20-something, teacher-on-a-break and a retired African-American man whose former career is now fuzzy to me. Maybe he was not a man at all...maybe...could he have been an angel?
I left teaching because I was not happy. It was more than just being unhappy with my job - it really all stemmed from me not being happy with ME. My mom called it a "quarter life crisis" since a book with the same name came out that same year. I'm pretty sure she saw it on Oprah or something. I think she was just happy to put a label on what was wrong with her oldest child! You can read more about a quarter life crisis here: http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/. I never read the book so I can't recommend it, but the concept makes sense. A twenty-something person gets out into the real world for a few years and then questions his/her career decision, relationships, lack of purpose, etc. I was definitely doing all of the above.
My biggest issue, though, was that I was questioning the existence of God. I had become a Christian at the age of nine. "How could a child so young truly make that sort of decision," I wondered. "How do I believe in something I can't see?" Even though I used to think I at least felt something, some sort of Godly presence, I wasn't feeling it anymore.
Until...
While working in the furniture store, I met a sixty-something African-American gentleman who basically served as a custodian. He cleaned and moved large furniture items and repaired things. I'm sure he did other things as well but I was far too invloved in myself and my own problems to learn more about him.
Whenever we ended up in the break room together it made me uncomfortable yet at the same time I wanted to hear what he had to say. He talked to me more than to the other sales people, or at least it seemed that he did. I think he said he had been a professor. Or was it a minister? I'm not even sure anymore, but he always called me "Teacher."
"Ok, Teacher, today is the 14th and it's falling on a Tuesday. Mathematically, can that happen again in the same year?" Well, I had no idea, of course. Math is not my thing (understatement). But I would listen politely while he explained why it was or was not possible.
"Teacher, what do you do if a child in your class steals something?" I would give some sort of developmentally-appropriate-approved-by-the-state-of-Virginia type answer and then wait for his reply. "But is that really getting to the root of the problem, Teacher? Isn't that just a bandaid?"
He kind of blew my mind.
Then, one day we started to talk about God. This kindly former professor or minister or something introduced me to a theory called Pascal's Wager. (Yes, this was the same Pascal you learned about in math class in high school.) The theory deals with your choice in whether or not to believe in God, specifically the God of Christian faith. Pascal said that if you choose to believe and you are right, you will be rewarded with heaven, and thus have gained. If you choose to believe and it turns out there is no God and no heaven, you have still lived your life so the loss is infinitisimal. Or, in other words:
| God exists | God does not exist | |
|---|---|---|
| Believe in God | Infinite gain in heaven | Insignificant loss |
| Disbelieve in God | Infinite loss in hell | Insignificant gain |
You can read more in depth about Pascal's Wager as well as more about his many contributions to religious theology, literature, math, and several other areas here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_Wager. Pascal was a pretty versitile dude.
So for awhile I kind of clung to this. It was better to believe that there was some bigger, better being looking out for me on a daily basis. And if I thought hard about bible teachings, I sometimes remembered this bigger, better, omnipotent and omnipresent being knew the number of hairs on my head. This was exactly what I needed - some sort of rational thinking to satisfy my analytical mind. (I said analytical - not mathematical.) It was better to believe and be wrong than to not believe and be wrong. So I'd choose to continue to believe...just in case.
Ten years later, my feelings about God and how I know He is real couldn't be any more different. But that's another blog. I'm just so thankful for that man who cleaned that furniture store. I wish I could remember his name. I wish I could thank him. I wonder if he has any idea that he helped me through such a dark period of my life? Or, maybe he does. An unlikely friendship between a chubby, 20-something, teacher-on-a-break and a retired African-American man whose former career is now fuzzy to me. Maybe he was not a man at all...maybe...could he have been an angel?
Monday, June 27, 2011
I Love You In God's Way
Well, I love him in God's way.
Remember saying that as a child? It was always my way of disowning my crummy kid brother yet remaining loyal to my family at the same time. Sometimes it was the way to distinguish the way in which I loved a boy outside of my family. "No, I don't LOVE him! Eww! I just love him in God's way!"
Even as a child I understood that God commanded us to love one another. I think I even understood that we should love everyone unconditionally. I wonder, though, how many people actually knew that I loved them? My mom and dad? My crummy kid brother and annoying little sister? My best friends? Who knows that I love them right now? My husband and my kids? My friends and neighbors? The people I work with?
This morning I spent a lot of time thinking about how I show people that I love them. My mind traveled back to the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I read the book as a newlywed and it really opened my eyes about how to show someone that you love them. If you aren't sure what the love languages are, you can read a summary here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ . There's lots of cool stuff on the website and you can even take a test to find out what your primary love language is.
While I'm sure I can always do more to show my family that I love them, there is a special group of people that will become a big part of my life over the summer. I have the honor and the pleasure of leading a group of teachers who will be the very first staff of a brand new preschool. This is HUGE! God's letting me do this? I already have such a deep and precious love for these ladies - some of whom I have not even met yet! I know from past leadership positions that the relationship you have with your team is vital to the quality of work that you do. Happy, supported, validated people are productive, passionate, and loyal!
So how...how do I do this? How do I show people that I barely know how much I love them? I'm going to have to listen and pay very close attention. Or maybe in some cases I'll have to just come right out and ask. What will these ladies appreciate most? Having a mess cleaned up for them? Kind words of encouragement? A hug? I don't know yet, but I'm going to find out...and in doing so I think I just may find out a lot more about what loving people "in God's way" actually means. And that, my friends, sounds like the beginning of something BIG!
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Remember saying that as a child? It was always my way of disowning my crummy kid brother yet remaining loyal to my family at the same time. Sometimes it was the way to distinguish the way in which I loved a boy outside of my family. "No, I don't LOVE him! Eww! I just love him in God's way!"
Even as a child I understood that God commanded us to love one another. I think I even understood that we should love everyone unconditionally. I wonder, though, how many people actually knew that I loved them? My mom and dad? My crummy kid brother and annoying little sister? My best friends? Who knows that I love them right now? My husband and my kids? My friends and neighbors? The people I work with?
This morning I spent a lot of time thinking about how I show people that I love them. My mind traveled back to the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I read the book as a newlywed and it really opened my eyes about how to show someone that you love them. If you aren't sure what the love languages are, you can read a summary here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ . There's lots of cool stuff on the website and you can even take a test to find out what your primary love language is.
While I'm sure I can always do more to show my family that I love them, there is a special group of people that will become a big part of my life over the summer. I have the honor and the pleasure of leading a group of teachers who will be the very first staff of a brand new preschool. This is HUGE! God's letting me do this? I already have such a deep and precious love for these ladies - some of whom I have not even met yet! I know from past leadership positions that the relationship you have with your team is vital to the quality of work that you do. Happy, supported, validated people are productive, passionate, and loyal!
So how...how do I do this? How do I show people that I barely know how much I love them? I'm going to have to listen and pay very close attention. Or maybe in some cases I'll have to just come right out and ask. What will these ladies appreciate most? Having a mess cleaned up for them? Kind words of encouragement? A hug? I don't know yet, but I'm going to find out...and in doing so I think I just may find out a lot more about what loving people "in God's way" actually means. And that, my friends, sounds like the beginning of something BIG!
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Chicken Nugget Years
A friend of mine used to take her then elementary-aged children to McDonald's once a month as a treat. She would not allow them to get cheeseburgers, but instead ordered Chicken McNuggets. Surely chicken is healthier than beef, right? To help matters, she would also instruct her young ones to remove the "peeling" as she called it, just like peeling a banana before eating it.
My kids would never go for this, and they're 2 1/2 and almost 4. I don't know how she kept this up as long as she did.
We all know what chicken nuggets really are. If you missed the chicken nugget episode of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution last year, you need to google it, and fast. Once you do, you'll want to sign the petition to help America's kids change their eating habits as well. You can do that here: http://www.jamieoliver.com/foundation/jamies-food-revolution/.
But already, I digress...
I get why kids like chicken nuggets. I like them, too - they just taste good. I especially like the dinosaur shaped ones by Tyson. Purist that I am, I dunk them in ketchup. What I'm trying to understand though, is how kids' tastes evolve over the years. Tonight at dinner my almost-four-year-old begged for some of my General Tso's Chicken. He LOVED it. He's been my better eater all along. When he was a baby he ate anything. Then he went through the picky years as most toddlers do, and now he's braving new territory. He's officially sworn off broccoli but finally agreed to eat ham on Easter...and liked it!
I've also been getting creative with our food names. Evil Doctor Porkchops and Bullseye Beans were scarfed down with no argument.
My baby girl is much more into the dinnertime drama. I'm never sure if she truly doesn't like the food I've offered or if she is just practicing for her teenage years. Running from the table screaming, "I don't liiiiike eeeeet!" and flinging herself headfirst onto the couch is funny the first time and cute the second time. After that, it's really just a scary peek into the future.
So when do these changes take place and why? How much is nature and how much nuture? So far, the threat of no treat if you don't eat your dinner wins if it's a food she likes but just doesn't want to eat at the moment. Otherwise, she's perfectly fine with her choice if the food is offensive to her.
I've read several articles suggesting that children at this age simply want to have control over something and eating tends to be a pretty easy way for them to have that. Taste buds also change as we grow. But whyyyy? It can make what used to be such a pleasant time of day a headache - or worse - a battle that ends in timeout complete with a side of uncontrolable crying.
The bottom line in our house is that if you don't eat what's on your plate, you don't eat. So far, we haven't had much of an uprising over this. My theory is that both kids really like breakfast and lunch foods but we tend to have "different" foods for dinner. I think they can survive on what they've eaten during the first two thirds of the day and make do. I feel though, that the storm is a-comin'. Someday soon the requests for something else to eat are going to be made. And before then I'm going to need to decide...does the rule stand, or can they make themselves something else when they're big enough? We'll just have to see...
What are your dinnertime rules? I'd love to know...
My kids would never go for this, and they're 2 1/2 and almost 4. I don't know how she kept this up as long as she did.
We all know what chicken nuggets really are. If you missed the chicken nugget episode of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution last year, you need to google it, and fast. Once you do, you'll want to sign the petition to help America's kids change their eating habits as well. You can do that here: http://www.jamieoliver.com/foundation/jamies-food-revolution/.
But already, I digress...
I get why kids like chicken nuggets. I like them, too - they just taste good. I especially like the dinosaur shaped ones by Tyson. Purist that I am, I dunk them in ketchup. What I'm trying to understand though, is how kids' tastes evolve over the years. Tonight at dinner my almost-four-year-old begged for some of my General Tso's Chicken. He LOVED it. He's been my better eater all along. When he was a baby he ate anything. Then he went through the picky years as most toddlers do, and now he's braving new territory. He's officially sworn off broccoli but finally agreed to eat ham on Easter...and liked it!
I've also been getting creative with our food names. Evil Doctor Porkchops and Bullseye Beans were scarfed down with no argument.
My baby girl is much more into the dinnertime drama. I'm never sure if she truly doesn't like the food I've offered or if she is just practicing for her teenage years. Running from the table screaming, "I don't liiiiike eeeeet!" and flinging herself headfirst onto the couch is funny the first time and cute the second time. After that, it's really just a scary peek into the future.
So when do these changes take place and why? How much is nature and how much nuture? So far, the threat of no treat if you don't eat your dinner wins if it's a food she likes but just doesn't want to eat at the moment. Otherwise, she's perfectly fine with her choice if the food is offensive to her.
I've read several articles suggesting that children at this age simply want to have control over something and eating tends to be a pretty easy way for them to have that. Taste buds also change as we grow. But whyyyy? It can make what used to be such a pleasant time of day a headache - or worse - a battle that ends in timeout complete with a side of uncontrolable crying.
The bottom line in our house is that if you don't eat what's on your plate, you don't eat. So far, we haven't had much of an uprising over this. My theory is that both kids really like breakfast and lunch foods but we tend to have "different" foods for dinner. I think they can survive on what they've eaten during the first two thirds of the day and make do. I feel though, that the storm is a-comin'. Someday soon the requests for something else to eat are going to be made. And before then I'm going to need to decide...does the rule stand, or can they make themselves something else when they're big enough? We'll just have to see...
What are your dinnertime rules? I'd love to know...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
If Retail Therapy's Wrong...I Don't Wanna Be Right
I've done this since I've had my own money to spend. I'll have a bad day or a bad week or a bad month. Then, the feeling creeps up on me like laughter, starting somewhere deep inside and travels up my spine until I just have to let it burst out. It's a compellingly strong urge - certainly comparable to what a migrating butterfly must feel at the end of the summer. I must...go...shopping!
Now, before you send me for a good dose of Prozac, let me explain that this is exactly my point. We all have our ups and downs. It's as natural as anything and God gave most of us the proper brain chemicals to deal with adversity and pull ourselves back together.
He also gave us multiple other ways to make ourselves feel better. There's exercise (not a big favorite of mine but I will acknowledge it's value). There's friendship (also known as counseling if you pay for it). There's church (a personal favorite of mine as well). Then, much newer to the antistress/antidepression scene, there's retail therapy.
My disclaimer is here: I'm not talking about the kind of shopping that causes you to make late mortgage payments. I'm talking about a few new things. A new sweater, a new pair of shoes, a new tube of lipstick. The fact is, I feel like a million bucks when I carry a new purse and wear a new pair of sunglasses. The key word here being FEEL. YOU are in charge of the way you FEEL.
Maybe it's the time spent wandering around looking that takes my mind of whatever it is that I almost chose to feel bad about. Sometimes I even get to shop by myself. Being a mom of a 2-year-old and 3-year-old, that's a rarity, so maybe it's that, too. Regardless, I think a little shopping is good for the soul. Anybody wanna go to the mall?
Now, before you send me for a good dose of Prozac, let me explain that this is exactly my point. We all have our ups and downs. It's as natural as anything and God gave most of us the proper brain chemicals to deal with adversity and pull ourselves back together.
He also gave us multiple other ways to make ourselves feel better. There's exercise (not a big favorite of mine but I will acknowledge it's value). There's friendship (also known as counseling if you pay for it). There's church (a personal favorite of mine as well). Then, much newer to the antistress/antidepression scene, there's retail therapy.
My disclaimer is here: I'm not talking about the kind of shopping that causes you to make late mortgage payments. I'm talking about a few new things. A new sweater, a new pair of shoes, a new tube of lipstick. The fact is, I feel like a million bucks when I carry a new purse and wear a new pair of sunglasses. The key word here being FEEL. YOU are in charge of the way you FEEL.
Maybe it's the time spent wandering around looking that takes my mind of whatever it is that I almost chose to feel bad about. Sometimes I even get to shop by myself. Being a mom of a 2-year-old and 3-year-old, that's a rarity, so maybe it's that, too. Regardless, I think a little shopping is good for the soul. Anybody wanna go to the mall?
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